My doctor originally scheduled my first ultrasound for week 10 but called around week 8 to see if I could come in. Once again, we should have known. Oblivious, we went to our appointment with excitement and some notion that it could be twins (the word triplets wasn't even a part of my vocabulary. Besides, how many people do you know with multiples.) As we stared at the screen, we began to count all the tiny circles and the doctor said, "this is what I was afraid of." I wasn't exactly sure what this meant, but I knew it wasn't good. He went on to explain what we we were looking at. We were looking at three and a possible fourth which seemed to be smaller than the other three. After I dressed, the doctor came back in to paint the grim picture. The one thing I had always appreciated about our doctor is that he had always been straight with us and this was no different. In his opinion, a pregnancy of four would be almost out of the question. He would strongly recommend that we consider selective reduction to two. He said a pregnancy of three would most likely include bedrest, possible hospital stay, preemies with lengthy hospital stay, and all the complications that come with preemies. He even went on to say that carrying two would be difficult but obviously not unheard of. I am an extremely emotional person. I cry at books, television, songs etc. I can shed tears when I am happy, sad, mad...you name it. However, at this moment in life I was just stunned. I couldn't believe what I was hearing. If you know Rick, you know he is rarely at a loss for words but this was one occasion where we were both almost afraid to speak. I remember getting in the car and looking at the backseat and thinking, where would I put that many kids. Rick finally said, "I'm not sure I want four babies." He was just being honest and trying to process what we had just heard. I felt like I was going to disappoint him again and I just couldn't fathom how I could carry multiples, so I felt that the pregnancy was doomed and we would have to start the process all over again.
For lunch, we went to McDonalds and joked that this would be the only place we would be eating as we wouldn't be able to afford anything else.
The rest of the week, we sort of just went through the motions of life, still trying to process things. On Saturday afternoon, I began spotting. The doctor told me to drink water, put my feet up, relax and reminded me that this could be normal or just the fourth embryo. I wasn't overly worried and by that evening I was fine. During this time period it seemed that we had so many things go wrong. Sunday evening, our dog required an emergency run to the vet. The roads were icy and Rick ended up in an accident. Monday morning, I went to work with quite a bit of snow on the ground and after taking about three steps from my car, I slipped and fell. By mid morning I began to experience bleeding. This was much more than the previous incident. I was instructed to go home, relax and call the doctor the following morning. This time, Rick and I were scared beyond belief. This was definitely one of the longest nights of my life. I can honestly say, I prayed most of the night. Even though you are not suppose to bargain, I kept saying I would follow doctor's orders and try to be the best parent possible.
By morning, the bleeding had stopped and I went in for an ultrasound which revealed that I indeed had lost the fourth embryo. However, the other three looked perfectly fine and this would mean we would not have to make a decision on selective reduction which I was grateful for.
From this moment on, Rick and I began to prepare to be parents of triplets. We discussed finances and began to form our plan which included getting second jobs and selling our vehicles to get something bigger to reduce our payments. In the end, Rick was the only one who got a second job as the reality of pregnancy set in and I could barely hold down one. We also began to discuss names and logistics like most parents. Somehow, I had a renewed sense of calm. I knew that somehow God was going to see us through this pregnancy. And, that he did.
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